What is Gaslighting?

Written By John Hardy
Free Guide on Gaslighting Phrases?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person causes another to doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity. It’s often used to gain power or control in relationships—romantic, familial, professional, or social.

  • Origin of the term: It comes from the 1938 play Gas Light, where a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind by dimming the gas lights and denying it.

  • Core tactic: Undermining someone’s confidence in their reality by denying facts, twisting events, or shifting blame

  • If you suspect gaslighting, it’s important to document interactions, seek outside perspectives, and consider professional support. Would you like tips on how to respond to gaslighting or protect yourself emotionally?

    How to Detect Gaslighting

    Here are common signs that someone might be gaslighting you:

    1. Constant Denial of Facts

    • They insist something didn’t happen—even when you clearly remember it.

    • You hear phrases like “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things.”

    2. Twisting Your Words

    • They reframe what you said to make you sound irrational or cruel.

    • You’re often told, “You’re overreacting” or “You’re too sensitive.”

    3. Blame Shifting

    • They make you feel responsible for their actions or emotions.

    • You’re left apologizing even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

    4. Isolation

    • They discourage you from talking to others or make you doubt your support system.

    • You feel increasingly alone and unsure whom to trust.

    5. Contradictory Behavior

    • Their actions and words don’t match—they may say they care but act dismissively.

    • You feel confused and emotionally destabilized.

    6. Minimizing Your Feelings

    • They dismiss your emotions as irrational or exaggerated.

    • You’re told things like “You’re being dramatic” or “It’s not a big deal.”

John Hardy